How Counselling Helped Me

By Colin Short

How counselling helped me is something I often struggle to put into words, because the changes weren’t always dramatic or obvious at first. When I first thought about going, I was honestly sceptical. Part of me believed that talking to a stranger wouldn’t make much difference and that I should just “get on with it” like I always had. But the truth was, I was carrying around so much stress and confusion that I couldn’t see things clearly anymore. I didn’t know where to start, and that feeling alone was exhausting.

The first sessions felt a bit awkward. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say or whether my problems were “serious enough” to be there. But what I quickly learned was that counselling isn’t about having the right words or presenting your issues neatly — it’s about being honest, even if that honesty comes out clumsy, confused, or emotional. Having someone sit opposite me, fully listening without judgement or interruption, was something I didn’t even realise I was missing. It felt like the first time in years that my thoughts had space to breathe.

Over time, the sessions became a safe place where I could unravel the tangled mess in my head. I started to notice patterns in how I responded to situations — things I’d never seen before because I was too caught up in them. My counsellor didn’t tell me what to do or hand me ready-made answers, but they asked questions that helped me see connections I’d been blind to. Slowly, I began to understand why I reacted the way I did, and that in itself was a relief. It gave me a sense of control I hadn’t felt for a long time.

Another thing counselling gave me was perspective. When you’re caught in your own struggles, everything can feel permanent and overwhelming. Talking things through helped me realise that many of the situations I thought were hopeless actually had solutions — or at least new ways of being handled. Sometimes it wasn’t about fixing things immediately, but simply learning how to cope in a healthier way. That shift in perspective meant I stopped seeing myself as powerless and started believing I had choices.

The biggest change, though, was internal. Counselling helped me to be kinder to myself. For years, I’d been my own harshest critic, beating myself up over mistakes or setbacks. Through our conversations, I started to see how unfair I was being to myself compared to how I treated other people. That awareness was the beginning of learning self-compassion. It didn’t mean ignoring responsibility or pretending everything was fine, but it did mean giving myself permission to be human — imperfect but still worthy.

Looking back now, I realise that counselling didn’t solve every problem in my life — that was never the point. What it did do was give me tools, insight, and confidence that I can carry with me. It’s not about never struggling again; it’s about knowing that I don’t have to face those struggles alone and that there are healthier ways of coping when things feel overwhelming. For me, that has made all the difference.