Just A Phase…

By Professor Fay Short

On the 1st May 2026, we launch Phase Counselling, a service built on the belief that every phase of life is important.

We chose the name Phase Counselling with intention. Not just because life moves in phases, but because the idea of a ‘phase’ is often treated dismissively. You have likely heard the expression "it’s just a phase". Maybe you have even said it yourself. But too often, it is a way of minimising someone's experience. It is used to imply that what they are going through does not matter because it will not last forever.

But here is the truth: everything is a phase. Childhood is a phase, and one of the most formative. Adolescence is a phase, and it is full of exploration, confusion, growth, and discovery. Adulthood is not one static state, but a series of phases: becoming independent, forming relationships, raising children, changing careers, experiencing loss, facing illness, and growing older.

Consider how many phases you have already lived through. Some phases come with ceremony: birthdays, graduations, retirements. Others arrive quietly or sneak up on us: the slow fading of a friendship, the moment you no longer feel at home in your body, the day you realise you have outgrown a role, a belief, or even a version of yourself. You may look back on some with fondness, some with regret, some with relief. You may not remember all of them. You may still be in the middle of some of them.

None of these phases last forever, but just because something is temporary does not mean it is unimportant. Each of these phases is real, meaningful, and deeply important. In fact, the very transience of a phase is often what makes it so profound. Because, as the old saying reminds us: this too shall pass.

These four words have offered quiet reassurance to countless people across generations. They remind us that pain is not permanent, that difficulty does not define us forever, and that time, with all its inevitability, moves forward whether we are ready or not. In the depths of pain or loss, we can find strength in knowing that it will not last forever. But this wisdom also applies to the happier times. When they come, we must savour them because they too will not continue indefinitely.

This too shall pass invites us to remember that everything, whether joyful or painful, is fleeting. Everything is a phase.

And that is where our name begins.

Our name carries the image of one of the most enduring symbols of quiet transformation: the moon. The moon moves through phases in a steady cycle, and each stage shapes the world around it: the pull of the tides, the tilt and rotation of the earth, the biological rhythms of organisms, and the patterns of life itself. Sometimes bright and luminous, sometimes veiled in shadow, the moon is always present, though in its phases we may see it only as a sliver of its true form. We, too, move through seasons of visibility and shadow, sometimes seen and sometimes hidden. Our lives, like the moon, are marked by cycles that are both subtle and profound. To recognise this is to understand that every phase is important because it plays its part in the whole.

To call something a phase is not to diminish it. It is to recognise that it belongs to a larger journey. Phases are not frivolous or passing whims. They are the very structure of our lives. To deny a phase its importance is to deny a piece of someone’s story. A teenager's distress is not invalid because they will one day grow up. A parent's exhaustion is not irrelevant because children eventually become independent. Burnout is not trivial because a holiday is coming. Heartbreak is not any less consuming because they may eventually find love again with someone new.

Too often, we are told to wait things out. We are encouraged to keep going until the phase passes. And while time may eventually move us forward, that does not mean we should walk through the hardest parts of it alone. This is where therapy can play such a powerful role, supporting us through times when we are starting a new phase, struggling to move on from a phase, transitioning between phases, or feeling stuck in a phase.

Therapy is not about fixing you. It is about helping you explore yourself and your life, honestly, gently, and with curiosity, from whichever phase you are currently experiencing. Sometimes, that means sitting in a difficult phase and learning how to hold pain without being consumed by it. Sometimes it means untangling patterns you have carried through many phases and choosing new ways to move through future phases. Through all of this, it can help to have someone alongside you, to sit with you, listen to you, understand your journey, and see your whole even when parts of you are hidden in shadow. This is what a therapist can offer.

As we launch Phase Counselling, we are aware that this, too, is a phase. We do not know what the future will bring. But we do know that the world will continue to move through different phases. People will continue to grow, struggle, love, lose, hope, and heal. And through it all, we will be here, offering a place to pause, to reflect, and to move forward, one phase at a time.